Yep, I was right. I am too boring for Francisco.

I guess I knew that from the start. I wondered what he saw in me when he had a busy life, wonderful friends and great personality. But I told myself that I should drop this self-consciousness bullshit and give my all. Unfortunatley I didn't really get the chance to do that.

I basically got the 'lets just be friends' spiel. Considering I'm so different to all his friends I don't really see how that is going to work. During the discussion, I found myself wondering if I could change enough for him. Then I thought, 'would I be happy if I did' and the answer is of course, no.

My previous relationships have ended with a feeling of relief amongst all the sadness and sense of ending. This time however, I only have this huge feeling of loss. I was the happiest I've ever been when I was around him. He was just inspirational to me. I had visions of me being active, getting out and doing things, travelling and improving. None of this, of course, is any fun by ones self. Now that I can't look forward to time with him I know my inspiration to tone up and look good will fade.

I know there will be other people in my life. But I really could see myself spending years with him and feeling fulfilled for once.

It's amazing what a person can do to you in only 3 weeks.


- posted by Lach @ 12:22