This was the first weekend in almost a month that I haven't spent with Francisco. He's had a lot to do with moving house etc. Whats bugging me is he seems so...distant, when I call him.

He was busy Friday night which is ok as I had to make an appearance at a party. He was going out to dinner with an old friend Sat night which is ok too. But when I call him he is like, not paying attention and doing stuff, or talking with someone IRL at the same time. There was also a feeling that he didn't want my help with all thats going on at the moment (ie unpacking etc).

It's rather odd as before I started spending time with him I had no problem filling in any amount of time by myself. This weekend I just can't seem to stick with anything. It's like I'm aching to hold him, be near him.

I guess whats got me most concerned is that we're so different. He's dynamic, energetic and active while I'm boring old me. But no one has inspired me to improve myself like him. I'm exercising properley, eating properley and doing more than the eat sleep work routine for the first time in probably a year. I guess it's just having someone to do stuff for. I adore spending time with him no matter what we're doing. He makes me want to try new things or old things in a new way. I feel so comfortable with him it's like I've known him for years.

I'm afraid that if I keep calling him etc all the time I'll come across as clingy and annoying. And if I let him do his own thing all the time I'll appear indifferent and uninterested. It would be apt that my last relationship died due to lack of effort on my part; that this would die from overwhelming him.

I've never had anyone screw with my emotions like he does; and I love him for it. I didn't even know I had these kind of feelings available to me (imposed on me?)

Yet the three times I called him this weekend I've felt unhappy/sad after each phone call.

I'm hoping that it's just lack of time on his part and not a general malaise. I'll just have to see what comes. I'm probably overreacting anyway. I hope.
- posted by Lach @ 15:24